Vented Spleen
by Robert350
Summary: Harry has had enough of Hogwart's. Especially his head of house. A quick one-shot.


**I'm back. I know I've been gone a while. I hope to get back into the "Swing of things" soon. Thank you for your patience. **

**This story - A "ONE SHOT". It is just something that I've been thinking of recently. I was reading someone's effort and that good author had me angry at McGonagall. And this is the result of that. **

**I realize many have done this before me. And most have done it better. So a challenge to everyone- write your own venting. It can be between any of the characters.**

**I call it "THE VENTED SPLEEN CHALLENGE." As long or short as you want it. Between any number of characters. It's up to you.**

**I'm leaving the rest of this particular scene open. Anyone is welcome to pick it up and run with it. I only ask that you let me know so I can read with everyone elsewhere the story goes.**

**I hope you enjoy my humble submission.-**

**b.**

VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS

It has been an awful summer, at least the start of it. Cedric was dead, and Harry was ignored by almost everyone. After a short time, Sirius had sent letters via his demented elf Kreature and they had compared information. Apparently, even he had a minder in his own home. He had imparted his distrust of the mad house elf and everyone else; to include Mooney.  
Harry was forced to act like the adult and had tried to keep the semi-sane Black from acting precipitously. Eventually, with Sirius accepting the elf when he finally became "the Black of Blacks" he reconciled with the lonely elf.  
Using the same, now happier elf. They managed to meet almost every evening for at least eight hours. They even visited Gringotts's a few times. Adding it up and they were there a long time. Sirius didn't go into details about his solo meetings, except to say the Goblins were both bloodthirsty and avaricious. Harry managed to learn a lot then and something changed inside. The innocent lad was gone forever.

The only contact he had from Dumbledore was a terse note apologizing and explaining with the return of Voldemort he had to spend the summer with his jailors to "make sure the wards are fully charged." (Of course, he called them, 'your loving family."

Harry thought of using Dobby as a letter carrier but quickly nixed that idea after discussing it with Sirius. He was paid by Dumbles and neither he nor Sirius trusted the old man anymore. He tried using Hedwig. But she always came back without a letter. And from the impressions she shared with him, someone relieved her of her burden before she got to Hermione, or as he now thought of him, "Ron the Wanker."

He had even tried to call Hermione, but her parents liked to travel during the summer so he didn't know when she was home. He studied everything he could, even going back to the first year. Rereading through those texts he found was a great benefit. The Dursley's were pretty much ignoring him. He had to take care of his things, for some reason they wound up feeding him more than before. That was a huge change from before. Both physically and mentally he was ahead of where he had started. It was the emotional aspect that needed attention and his meetings and conversations with Sirius eventually helped with that. Additionally, he worked out in the basement The only other thing of note in the summer was the heat and humidity. There was one huge storm though, the temperature dropped from 40.5 to 18.3 in the space of a few minutes. Harry started to relive his worst memories but the rain and windstorm drove the depression out.

He made the Dursley's happy the evening before he left. He told them he didn't need a ride and that there was a better than even chance they would never see him again. Dudley surprised him by offering Harry his hand. "Good luck Harry. If you get the chance, look me up sometime."  
In retrospect, he hadn't been awful this summer but a lot of that was the dearth of interaction. Even when prompted to. "Thanks, Dud. If I'm alive."  
The overly large teen looked surprised, but nodded and closed the door. Harry heard," That's my Dudders! Such a gentleman!"

Harry shrugged and drug his heavy case down the sidewalk. Unsure if the half-formed plan from the half mad man and the half-grown teen had a chance. The Knight bus appeared at once and was surprisingly empty. Harry was sure this was one of their busiest days but he was over three hours early for the train. He was miffed with his friends, but Sirius had made it clear to at least hear their side before he got angry.

Hermione was the second there, a full hour after him. When he saw her she was wild-eyed and ran towards the train like a tardy Weasley.  
"Harry! Harry! Are you here yet?" She called yelling at the open cars.  
He stood and held his arms out to her. She spied him and ran jumping into his arms. "Harry! I tried so many times to call and write. I even took the Knight bus to your home but someone stopped me when I got close." Her eyes were big and bright, she looked ready to cry at any second. She was hanging on to him as if her life depended on it. Her tears started as she grabbed him were making his shirt wet as she sobbed into his chest.

"It's okay Hermione. I missed you too." Any irritation he may have had completely forgotten. He patted her back and held her she felt good wrapped in his arms. Her tears slowed but didn't completely cease. Even though she was relieved he could tell, he could still feel a tension in her. Turning so one arm was still around her he led her to his cabin and sat with her molded into his side.

"Oh, Harry!" Her cry was despondent.

"I'm here and it's okay. I've got you. I'm not mad at you." Thinking to make it better he added, "I've been doing a lot of thinking about us this summer. Out of everyone, I've missed you the most. I was hoping," he hesitated, then went ahead anyway, the two of us going on a date on the Hogsmeade weekends."

Instead of making it better. This just started her crying hard again. Once again he held her tight thinking he had said something wrong and was resigned to just being her friend. After a minute she forced herself to stop. "Don't you dare think that Harry James Potter. I would be happy to date you. In fact, there is only one name listed on my list of acceptable beaus, and yours is it."

All of a sudden he realized. "Huh? Wait. where's your stuff?"

Her eyes grew hard and angry. "McGonagall happened. She showed up a week after school and had a talk with my parents."

Harry had heard of bile rising in his throat but isn't know what it tasted like until now. "What did she say?" Suddenly fearful thinking her parents were sending her to Beaubaxton's. He knew she was fluent. They vacationed in France every year.

"She told them with 'the Dark Lord", her fingers making the accents in the air. "That I was a high-risk target and the school couldn't guarantee my safety. She informed them that the school had made arrangements for me to matriculate at Salem's Witches academy."

Harry grew stiff and was ready to explode. "I really tried to talk them out of it. I told them you would keep me safe. I almost had them convinced to let me try until the first sign of trouble when McGonagall added that not only would I be able to get my owls there, but also the American equivalent of 'A' levels."

Harry started cursing. He was going to continue in both description and volume when she looked up and hesitated before moving in and kissing him. He sighed both in contentment and regret and let go of his anger, at least for now. "So what now. Is that it?" A touch of anger and hurt creeping in.

"No! not if you don't want it to! Just remember you are Harry "Fricken" Potter. The boy-who-fricken-lived. You've beaten No-nose Voldemort by my count three times and fought to a draw the other two. And until I hear differently from you, and you alone, I am your girlfriend. Do you understand me, Mr. Potter?" Since every word was punctuated with an index finger poked into his chest, he got the message.

Despite the sadness, he knew he would feel, a smile gave her answer. To remove all doubt he kissed her and left no room for doubt. "So what now?"

"First of all trust Dobby and Sirius. The headmaster prevented all communications to you to include house-elves. Padfoot managed to get Kreature to you because apparently, you are Heir Black. Since the Black declared this to be a house matter nothing short of Azkaban could stop a Black house-elf from delivering a message from the Lord Black to his heir. But I only got through to him late last night."

"I'm not sure I follow all of that. And weren't you against the slavery of house-elves?" He had learned weeks ago about him being the heir to two of the Sacred Twenty eight and had touched on a little of it. But Hermione's One-Eighty on SPEW was different.

"I'm running out of time Harry. I've got to be gone before too many people come." They could both hear the excited babblings of many voices out the window. "Padfoot has Hedwig. Make sure you read this. It's fascinating. And explains many things. You have a lot more rights than we knew of. He told me that you've been training with him and he's been looking for this book in his library and just found it. It gave me the excuse I needed to come here to see you off. I glanced at the book and it is very informative. But that's more of the demented headmaster interfering with your life." She pulled a book out of her handbag, "The Sacred Twenty Eight. Lords of Magic."

"Dumbledore has been much worse than you know Harry. And now that you're an adult you have a lot more rights than we knew of."

"Say whaaat?"

She shook her head and tears started to fall once more. "I want to stay with you but I can't. They would use me against you... She pulled her wand from her bad and waved it around her head and touched the crown of her head with it. As she disappeared from his view like a watercolor in a waterfall, he felt her lean over and whisper in his ear. "The Triwizard tournament was for adults only right? Three different department heads verified you as a contestant and the minister himself said you won. That means you're an adult. " He felt her kiss him but to quickly left him before he could hug the invisible girl. "I love you," he heard softly and a muted cry.  
And he was alone. Again. Or was it still?

The rest of the ride passed by in relative silence. Ron never showed in the compartment. Harry wondered if he knew Hermione was the latest victim of the war. Neville waved and said a quick "hi" but he had Luna on one arm and Hannah on the other. Despite his black mood Harry had to laugh.

No trip to Hogwarts would be complete without a visit from Malfoy. "So Scarhead, things will be different now that the Dark Lord is back. Where's your mudblood slut? Or is she too afraid to show now that our rule is nigh?"

Harry shook his head while his muscle mumbled the appropriate supportive statements. "Yeah! Mudbloods nigh!"

He laughed. "You know Drakey, it would be a much more effective impact if you could train your gorillas to at least speak the right phrases. They don't need to know what they mean but it would make you look better. And Hermione sends her regards, but she's already mastered everything Hogwarts has to offer so she is going elsewhere. She wanted me to tell you that she hopes to see you at the end of her wand soon. This time you'll be a stuffed ferret."

The painful embarrassment had Draco tugging his wand out; as usual, responding viscerally. Instead of spitting a spell, he received a firm punch in the chest, knocking him back into his henchmen before having the door closed and firmly locked in his face. His best spells couldn't open it, all he could see was Potter sitting there laughing at him while he screamed epithets that were heard along the length of the train.

All in all, Harry was satisfied with his response. He frustrated Malfoy and didn't lose his temper. Sirius had told him it was something his father had to work on as well. And that he never got the girl until he mastered himself first.

It had been a long day. The Welcoming Feast was anything but welcoming. There was no buffer to keep the ignorant and unwelcome at bay. Once more he was the anti-hero. This time marketed as an attention seeker or delusional spoiled rich boy, depending on the source of course. To "Once-I-was-a-Friend Ron", it was a confusing jumble. Ron was upset that his favorite bookworm-cum-homework drone was missing. He suspected Harry was behind it. Or it was somehow Potter's fault. "It's always Potter's fault." Besides, he was done as Potter's sidekick.

The new day had started out fine. He got up early while the Buzzsaw droned on. He put his new and well-fitted clothing on under his robe and was among the first to breakfast. McGonagall nodded to him but she didn't say naught but "Potter" as she handed him his schedule. It was fine with him, he would be polite but distant. Even if Hermione was here he would be. There was just too much rancor held inside for him to be anything except exceedingly polite to any of the staff. As he ate his bacon he sat and thought about that very thing. He was trying to decide whether Hagrid was a friend who was duped or just another facet of the Hogwarts' machine.

His classes were fine, It started out with Binns' nap time. Which was then followed by Transfiguration. He sat in the back of both classes and except for Neville and a couple of other "Hello's" he was ignored. The afternoon had had Hagrid's menagerie and Sprout's sprouts. He was distracted in her class the entire time. He was trying to determine whether she was the exception to the SNAFU status like the rest of the Heads of House.

The INCIDENT happened after the last class. Harry knew there was going to one. He had waited "for the shoe to drop" all day. He hadn't wanted to be seen, so he had been walking while wearing his family's cloak. He had learned long ago to make sure that no one brushed up against him.  
His meanderings didn't have any rhyme or reason. The common room and dorms had too many people pointing and whispering, he didn't need that shit now. He came across Malfoy and his two goons were "shaking down" a Raven "firstie". While Tweedle Dee had one arm Tweedle Dum held the other just as firmly. The young lad was shaking with fear while Malfoy held his sparking wand an inch from the boy's eye.  
"You will give me what I want because I can find you any time and any place. My father is on the Hogwarts Board of Directors, so even Dumbledore can't do anything to me. I'm untouchable!"

Such a taunt proved too much for Harry. With one quick motion, he pushed Malfoy's head solidly against the stone wall, knocking him cold. Harry smirked as he saw the albino ferret drop to the floor as if every bone had vanished. The two ute's (I mean youths), stared dumbly at their employer for a moment before simultaneously letting the little boy go. Harry didn't even look back as soon as he saw the raven fly to safety.

The seating in the hall was supposed to rotate; Gryffindor's, Ravenclaw's, Hufflepuff's and Slytherin's. Every year the assignment of house tables was supposed to rotate but this hadn't been done in quite some time. Citing the need to keep Gryff's and Snakes separate, it had stayed the Gryff's at one wall, Slithering's at the other with the Puff's buffering the lions and the Claws were mostly tolerated by the snakes, which is why there are more dark wizard Ravenclaw's than badgers and lions.

Harry was sitting with his back against the wall just as his dog-father told him. Slightly more than halfway towards the professor's table. The spaces around him were empty since Neville hadn't come in yet. Malfoy stormed over to him with the slower moving idiots following in his wake. "That's it, Potter! You've embarrassed me for the last time!" Pointing his wand at Harry, Draco's face was livid. It was obvious he was not in control. "Confringo!" He yelled.

Harry had stood when he saw Draco's anger. It was a good thing there was no one nearby. Quickly casting his shield. He angled it so the rebound of the spell would redirect the spell upwards.  
Not being an overly powerful wizard, the explosion wasn't all that impressive. Impressive enough however to cause a lot of screaming and further departure from the area surrounding Harry. "Potter! I'll see you expelled for this!" Snape was already halfway to the pair. "Until then, three hundred points lost from Gryffindor and a month's worth of detentions with me."  
A groan had escaped from some of the Gryff's with the point loss. Otherwise, silence reigned while everyone waited for the latest installment of "Hating Harry." His barely restrained ire started to rise as Draco and goons slunk back to their table without any detentions or points lost. He surveilled the hall. The professors, including his head of house, looked on with anger that he thought was directed at him. Any student's who meet his eye quickly looked down at their lap or away. After a pregnant moment, he looked back at the sloven potions professor. "I don't think so. Not this time. I'll not be the Hogwarts' whipping boy. Not this year," He emphasized shaking his head negatively.  
"What did you say? You arrogant swine. You're worse than your father! That's another month of detentions!"  
"I thought you were getting me expelled? Let's see then." Turning to his head of house. "Deputy Headmistress McGonagall. You are witness to these events. As deputy, it is in your purview to overturn these judgments. I Harry James Potter formally request adjudication."  
She, along with the vast majority of the other people there, looked surprised. Before she could respond another was heard from. "Where did you learn this Harry?" The headmaster's robes were a lurid fuchsia. Rivaling those of the latest DaDa professor. Who looked on with a contented smile; Christmas and Fudge's birthday all rolled into one.  
"It was pointed out to me that I've been remiss in my studies. The duties of the various staff are listed in the appendices of "Hogwarts a History." He knew they were going to assume it was Hermione that got him to study. They didn't know about Sirius and he wasn't going to tell them.  
"Mr. Potter," McGonagall began. "I'm afraid the points and detentions will stand."  
"What? Why? You saw Malfoy come and attack me. Had I not directed his hex towards the ceiling others would have been hurt!"  
She always looked on him disapprovingly and her lips became thin white lines. "That's it!" He exclaimed, "That was your last chance, McGonagall. I've had it." He turned to the firsties along the table. "Remember how she told you all your house would be like your family?" He saw them nod. "Don't believe her. She has never, and I mean never shown a modicum of care." She looked angry now, but this was just the start of it. "Do you know that at least three of the first years cried themselves to sleep last night? Do you even care? Every year it's the same thing. You leave everything for everyone else to do. You are the worst out of all of the other Heads of House."  
"Mr. Potter, That's another week's detention!"  
Shaking his head. "Make it a month. I don't care."  
Snape interrupted, Potter you're arrogance is beyond the pale."  
"Shut up Snivelus. I've had it with you and the rest of the do-nothing Professors here. By the way, you may be surprised at your ranking; despite your complete lack of ability to teach. But as a head of house, you are almost competent."  
Snape stopped short in surprise. "Professor Sprout at least to my way of thinking is the best head. Unless something is going on in this den of idiocy that isn't spoken of. Everyone is mothered. Of course, she treats me with complete contempt, despite the fact that everyone knows a death eater put my name in the goblet. She still won't talk to me."  
He took a breath and wondered why he was being allowed the latitude to continue his soliloquy.  
Sprout frowned at him but didn't say a word. "Snape you are second. You might even be the best, but there are unsubstantiated rumors that some of your upper years prey on the girls." He didn't wait for anyone to add information or interrupt. He turned to Flitwick, who sat on his carefully altered chair. "I have almost as much contempt for you as I do McGonagall. You wear a veil of respectability but you're either blind or incompetent. I'll tell you now Flitwick there is one that is dear to me that is under your care. If something happens to them I will end you. This person has almost died every year they've been here. And you do nothing. Make no mistake, I know you are good, but do your job or you'll face my wand and steel!" Truth be told that was pure bravado. He only found out about the technique a couple of weeks ago. He started to train for it, but so far it was all self-taught and he was abysmal, so far. The exciting part of this was that through his experimentation he could now "call" the sword to him. And put it back. Wherever that was. He didn't want to tip his hand too early Lest Dumbles find out and find a way to interfere.  
"Anything about me Harry?" His eyes were twinkling and his voice was low but heard by all throughout the hall.  
"I notice you didn't even let your staff respond really. Except for your pet. But you always use him as your attack dog. Barking and sniping at everyone. No, you'll have your turn, Albus. But I'm not through with your pet pussy cat. And despite her animagus form, she is much more the former rather than the latter."  
McGonagall's face turned even whiter. If looks could kill Harry knew he would have been dead several times already.  
"You know professor," he spit the last word out as an epithet. "You've told me before you loved my parents and they were favorites of yours. Were you lying to yourself or me? Someone who loved my parents the way you claimed would never have allowed their baby to lie in a basket on a front step all night long in November. You loved my parents? Then why did you never check on me? Those animals threw me into a closet and beat me regularly. Everyone took note of my tattered and missized clothes. No one did anything about it."  
Speaking to the students he said, "Every year the headmaster tells us the forbidden forest is out of bounds. Right?"  
A few "Yeahs", and "Right." Were answered back.  
"Hey Ferret face. Where did we go to detentions our first year?"  
Forgetting the insult in the heat of the moment, "The Forbidden forest!"  
"Yeah, the forest where we were almost killed by Voldemort who was sucking unicorn blood. Then later that year a few of us told you the stone was being stolen. True to form, you took this information... and did nothing with it. Had you called the Aurors or maybe the Unspeakables, Voldemort may have been defeated."  
He paused to take a drink, his invisible heir ring didn't warn him so he took his time. Once again he was the center of attention. He could hear Weasley whispering to his two sycophants while he did so. With the speed of thought, once more he was surprised and shouldn't be, about the similarities between the two idiots. The same coin just a different face.  
"Sorry about the delay. If I'm going to get those detentions you're speaking of, I might as well earn them. Where was I? Oh yes, Professor Macgone-again, Second year. Suddenly I was the "Heir of Slytherin", he said drawing quotes in the air. "Once again it was Voldemort. This time using an innocent. The incompetent staff led by I-know-more-than-anyone-else Dumbledore didn't do anything. A second-year had to figure out what Slytherin's monster was and I killed it." He interrupted himself. "I'm not bragging. That's just the way it shook out." He turned to the headmaster, "By the way - Since that was my kill I've claimed the full bounty as established by..."  
"That was Hogwarts's property!" Snape interrupted. He had planned on abusing Potter so much he would happily give the carcass to the school in order to end at least some of the detentions.  
"That was a class XXXXX creature. See your current CoMC Professor if you need a refresher." Once again that a misdirection. Hagrid hadn't told him anything, but that isn't what Harry said. Harry noted that neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall looked happy about that news. "Getting back on point. I wonder if it is a coincidence that the one person who figured it out when some of the most celebrated educators couldn't, isn't with us. I don't suppose that you know where Hermione is?"  
"You'll be too busy with detentions Potter to worry about Miss Granger." She almost sounded like Snape with her clipped voice.  
"Maybe it's for the best. None of the professors could challenge her intellectually. I'll miss her though."  
Harry looked down as if sad and then looked up suddenly as if he had a sudden thought, "Unless that's the idea?" And also adding a trifle of fear into his voice, "Or were you so incompetent that you let the Death Eaters get her?"  
His incompetent jibe had scored, Dumbledore's eyes stopped twinkling, "Careful Mr. Potter. I only have so much patience."  
Rather than back off, Harry pressed on. He gave a slight shrug. "Most of this is directed at your deputy. Why don't you let her fight her own battles."  
"Y' don' think I canna!" Her face for the first time had a bit of color."  
He stared at her with the ire felt plainly etched on his face. "I think you're a horrible person and head of house. Had you been any kind of mentor you would have noticed that there were at three of your Gryffindor's with mismatched wands. I think if you gave any kind of a damn you wouldn't lose your bet to the other Heads every year."  
The other professors looked mildly shocked that a student knew about the annual bet. He had to twist the knife a little further, " You know losing a few years is normal, but you've placed fourth every year. You even have the smartest witches of the last two generations in your house. And you still lose. You know professor most normal people would think... Is it me?"  
This elicited a few small smirks for the other heads of house, he ignored and carried on while she was mentally unfocused. "Your incompetence cost my sworn Godfather twelve years of his life. Thrown into Azkaban without a trial. Admittedly you weren't the only one who witnessed their wills but you're the one who said you "loved my mum and dad so much."  
She sat down heavily, angry at Potter, Dumbledore, Snape and most of all herself.  
But there was no compassion in Harry Potter today. The machinations of the staff had cost too much. "Know this Minerva McGonagall. No matter what else happens, you've earned my unending contempt."  
It was deathly quiet in the hall. Until the expected, "Is that it? Are you through with the histrionics Mr. Potter?"  
Harry smiled at the headmaster. If he knew the cantrip, he would have had his eyes twinkling. "Almost Headmaster. Just a minute more. Thank you for letting me vent," he said inclining his head. He knew very well that Dumbles had tried to hex him at least three times. But he didn't want Albus to know he knew. At least not yet.  
"Just this. To the half-bloods and muggle-born. Voldemort is back. Don't let Cedric's sacrifice be in vain. Find a way out. Buy a port key from Gringotts. Something." He ignored the "Ahem's" coming for the head table where the new DADA sat. He was completely briefed. "At a minimum have your parents get a couple of shotguns."  
He turned to the head table. "Very last things. And Unlike you lot, I keep my promises. "Heir Malfoy. The entire hall saw you without provocation attack the heir to the family Black and the Heir to the Family Potter. Tell Malfoy of Malfoy he will be hearing from Lord Black. I leave his disposition up to my lord. And lastly, Albus Dumbledore you may expect similar missives for even more egregious actions to the heir of two Ancient and Noble houses."  
His face turned pale. He had to do something about this now! He was interrupted though. "Ahem. Prisoner Black is wanted by the ministry he can't be Lord Black." She was simpering and tried to look sweet.  
Harry was having none of it. "Magic accepted him as such lady. You best not interfere with items above your station, lest you be judged as well."  
"I'm done, headmaster. I hope to see you very soon."  
"Do you think I'm just going to let you leave here?"  
"You have no choice in this. Which is why you couldn't curse me. Like you've tried tonight."  
Albus's eyes grew large as he realized what was happening, too late.  
"Hogwarts! Take me to the gates!"

With a flicker. Harry Potter. Hero, criminal, whipping boy, and favorite son disappeared from the Great Hall. Everyone started talking at once but they once more quieted to the vociferous sounds of the heads swearing loudly and long. It was much later the next morning when it was discovered that another quiet Gryff and a blonde Claw were not found anywhere in the castle. So upset were the staff they forgot to lock down the owlery. And the owlery was completely emptied before midnight.

They wouldn't see Harry Potter Black for three more years.

**VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS VS**

**I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know your thoughts. **

**And Oh, BTW I fully plan on writing the alternate ending to SmartArse as well as the sequel (which will be fairly short.)**

**Thanks again. **

**b.**


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